I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think people are normalizing furries
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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