Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
