why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
