Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
