omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
