dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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