pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
