WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
