im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
