Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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