i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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