hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
