I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
