Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
