I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
