So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
