So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
