That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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