is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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