I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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