I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
