What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
there is puke in my bra ... again
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
