I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think people are normalizing furries
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
