The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
