Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
