yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
