just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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