When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
