My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
So. Much. Porn.
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