I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
