she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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