he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it glows. i had to have it.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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