You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
