good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
