Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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