we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
