Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Randomize
