We're like a lot better than the average bears
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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