3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
