He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
