Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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