Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
