watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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