I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
