I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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