I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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