im having a threesome with these popsicles
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
