I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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