What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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