I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
