I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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