I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
