put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
