I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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